I remember / je me souviens
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For those limbic bursts of nostalgia, invented by Proust, miniaturized by Nicholson Baker, and freeze-dried by Joe Brainard in his I remember and by Georges Perec in his Je me souviens.

But there are no fractions, the world is an integer
Like us, and like us it can neither stand wholly apart nor disappear.
When one is young it seems like a very strange and safe place,
But now that I have changed it feels merely odd, cold
And full of interest.
          --John Ashbery, "A Wave"

Sometimes I sense that to put real confidence in my memory I have to get to the end of all rememberings. That seems to say that I forego remembering. And now that strikes me as an accurate description of what it is to have confidence in one's memory.
          --Stanley Cavell, The Claim of Reason


Thursday, May 09, 2002
I remember thinking that anything that happened before my birth was in a past so remote as not to be connected with my world at all: my parents' youth for example, or their marriage before I was born.

I remember a hobbyhorse that I used to run around on. If it was a hobbyhorse -- a broomstick with a horses head. I remember riding around on it in Kathy Yerzely's apartment: she was the daughter of a neighbor of my grandparents in Washington Heights. She had an older sister who died before we were born. She was a few months older than I. Her mother smoked a lot. She had a play house and we would hide inside it from her mother who was doing the ironing, but she always found us. When we asked her how she knew, Mrs. Yerzley said, "Mothers have eyes in the back of their heads." She had scary beige cats-eye glasses, which helped make this seem true -- just that she would have a different and more penetrating relation to seeing than we did. I was always surprised by the fact that the layout of their apartment was so different from the layout of my grandparents'.


posted by william 12:22 PM
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